Death Of The Fatman

Since I was about 12 years old I adopted the identity of “The Fatman” as a parody of Batman. It wasn’t entirely clever but the shoe fit; I was over weight and I loved super heroes. My cousin and I would come up with all sorts of ideas on stories that would show how incompetent the hero, who called himself the White Knight but was referred to as Fatman, was, while the sidekick, Sparrow (a parody of Robin), was really the  unsung hero. In 2004 we were able to bring some of the ideas to life in our short movie Fatman & Sparrow, and even made 3 more movies following the characters over a period of the next 8 years. The movies progress with my character, Ryan Leaf aka The Fatman, gaining weight and becoming more obnoxious and incapable. 

It was an easy laugh, mostly at my expense, and while it didn’t hurt me in any deep emotional way, I didn’t like how I was seen in real life. I was the overweight, no self control, sloppy, silly, dim witted, comic relief of every group and as a result I wasn’t taken seriously. I know there were many other things I did in life to contribute to that image, but my weight was at least a contributing factor.  Worse than other people not taking me seriously was that I wasn’t taking myself seriously. I was satisfied with less but not because less was always best, but because less was often easier.

I wanted to be seen as a viable person, not just the punch line of a joke at my own expense. So, along with other contributing factors, I set out to kill the Fatman. I wanted him dead and buried to remove his image of lazy and gluttonous self interest to be far from the real me as I could manage.

I want to be clear that my Fatman alter ego has a warm spot on my heart, almost literally, as I have a Fatman tattoo on my chest. It's a W fashioned in the style of the Batman symbol and reflects my desire to be a hero… to help people no matter what my condition is. The W still represents the White Knight, a charitable, noble, war horse set out on a quest to do good. So yes, the Fatman may be dead, but the White Knight lives on. 

Proverbs 21:31 The horse is prepared for the day of battle, But victory belongs to the LORD.